‘Be satisfied with what you have to find PEACE’

Consultant psychiatrist, Dr Anjali Chhabria has been the president of the Bombay Psychiatrist Society. She has counselled children, parents, seniors and divorce seekers in her career spanning 25 years. Dr Anjali took time off her busy schedule to answer readers’ questions in an exclusive chat with Sify. Read the complete chat transcript here.

Any tips for working people to keep cool?
Balance your work, hope should be there.. do not carry your home to the office.. and vice versa…

Inlaws irritates by respect.Initially not to hurt my wife.I hate &shout at them.Wife irritates since modulation and supporting her fam. I shouts at her now then & feels not a right partner/selected from Wrong family

You seem to be very irritable and need help with your anger.. instead of blaming the people around you go meet a psychiatrist and get to theroot of your anger..

Get help with your child..spk to your husband..take time off from your work and put in hours where you are only studying..

hai, this is rohini, from bangalore,. i am housewife, i feel under stress

Rohini you need to go to the bottom of your stress and also tell me waht is that you feel and why and since when..if its your personalitythen are you a perfectionist? …who is trying to perfect everything and also forcing others to do the same or have you bitten off more than you can chew… piece of advice..Go meet a psychiatrist/ psychologist in Bangalore and get to the root of the problem..

Dear Dr.At times I have felt that even if one is not stressed enough, one is stressed compulsively just due to the persons around and their behaviour Please advice so that one can hold back emotions & keep cool

Pls take your remote control back to whomever you have given it to..its easy to blame others and difficult to take responsibility.. you needto find the reason ..the cause of your emotional dependence and work on that with the help of counselling.. so go ahead for counselling

Its been 4-5 month Iam going under depression Iam under medication as well but till the time I take medicine Iam fine but when I am over withthem I go back to same stage I don’t want to conctinue medicines for whole life please suggest what should I do?

There are diff kind of depression …some need medicines ..others need counselling… and some need both.. talk to your Dr. ..find out whatkind of depression you have.. find out if you need psychological assessment as well and pls do not discontinue your medications as these could have serious side effects…

how do i control OCD?

OCD is a disorder which needs to be controlled by medicines.. stop trying to control the thoughts instead watch them and allow them to pass, behaviour therapy, RTMS and counselling will also help…

pls tell me how to deal with adhd boy 6 year

Its tough and easy.. Be firm and kind..play with him often ..set rules where sleep and food are concerned.. have a discipline in place but also enjoy the interaction..

I am a working woman from well settled family but there is some fear in my mind. My thinking became negative so I am feeling confidenceless now a days .What should I do to think positive? I am very depresed Please help.

There is something.. precipitate your depression..think abt what happened and seek help for the situation..be positive..take one day at atime..one step at a time and have in yourself and your abilities..small short steps will help you regain your lost confidence.. If required pls meet a counseller..

I am not able to manage time at the office and I forget even very important meetings. I get tensed time to time and I am getting new opportunities, but scared to take them due to fear of own capability and confidence.

You need to immediately work on your fears by meeting a professional who will analise your fears and guide you whether you need medication or meditation..

I am a 32 year old IT professional. I always get hyper tensed when i am assigned a new project, though later on I am able to manage these project well. How do i control the initial stress and depression

You have anticipatory anxiety ..this is a good stress bcoz it helps us to deal with a situation ..however if you feel that your stress is getting the better off you try relaxation techniques and break the problem into smaller bits..

How to overcome stress related to anxiety

There are diff causes of Anxiety like physical or psychological.. Get a full body check-up done..specially thyroid and meet a Dr. who will prescribe you medicines and teach you relaxation techniques.. Yoga is extremely helpful and also talking abt your situation to a passionate listener..

hello madam, thanks for coming 2 chat…i want to know how to handle stress in marriage life?

The root of stress in a married life is unrealistic expectations. Do your best and expect the least from your spouse…. Try not to sleep over situations and keep smiling..: )

How to overcome depression
I have already answered this…

send me answer easy avoid stress
Do One thing at a time but do it completely..

i used to care my wife (23yrs) now i got more fin problem and her family is not upto the mark. On angry i abuse with hurting words. I dont wanna do but still. help me

Suddenly what has happened with you..she couldn’t have changed that soon.. perhaps your financial problems are stressing you out and you are blaming your wife..I suggest you solve your problems instead of blaming your wife or In laws and pls meet a Dr. or go in for Anger management.

I have been facing financial issues for the past few years,i feel it is effecting me a lot.The way i deal with my specially is different from outsiders,with friends and colleagues i am sort of do not show my frustration much.

Why are you facing financial issues..are u suited for your job or do u need to change your career..talk to one person you respect in your field.. and find out where you are going wrong..its imp to share your feelings..spend half an hour destressing yourself daily..

hi mam, i m working woman, i feel active and confident thruout the day , i am worried and sleepless in night, is this stress? do i m pressurising myself?

You seem to be carrying your stress back home with you..stop doing that! Relax before you sleep, listen to some nice music before you sleep…

i feel sleepy all the day and not able to sleep now a days, i m sw.engg. i keep sitting on chair for 7-8 hrs, do execerise for 30 min, but irregular in it, i m little worried about my performance at work. can the expections from myself causing me stress?
Exercise regularly..take a break and get back to work with gusto!

my wife was suffering from some mental disorder.now she is recovering but this has led me to alcoholic.i want to quit but can’t.leading me to all sorts of negative thoughts.i’m just fed up.pls help
Alchoholism is disorder and needs medical help..consult a Dr. who will give you medicines for the same..

i feel very lazy all the time ? what is a good home work to release the stress
Stop worrying about your work when you are not working and get some exercise..

[ mostly the wife] and somewhere somehow the love is lost between them. Its never the same as before. How do you think the couples can handle such a stress ?

It should be keeping the romance alive..its not the love which is lost but the romance which is lost..treat each other with respect..give compliments and give importance to keeping the romance in the marriage alive!

I think kids cause marital stress. Dont take me in the wrong way – Atleast for 1st 4 years in their childhood, both husband and wife need to spend so much time and energy around the kid that it physically and emotionally drains them out

Thats true! But kids also add a lot of joy and happiness..if you are getting stressed look at your child and find ways to get some time together and also some help for the child..

Do you believe in regression hypnotheraphy? Would our sub-conscious know why we have specific character traits and born that way ? Would it be related to our past lives?

Regression if done the right way have known to help ..there is a lot of work beoing done all over the world which show benefits but make sure its done by a trained professional..

Dear Dr,We have been married for the past twelve years and my husband is very suspicious person.Because of his nature even our relatives are not comfortable to come to our place.He doesn’t have any bad habits but very suspicious in nature. Please guide!
Suspicion can be a part of a paranoid disorder or schizophrenia..if there is no cause for the suspicion. If there is no reason for him to be suspicious and he still is ..contact your local Dr. and spk to his relatives as this might be a medical problem and might require help..

hello madam! I am right now in US, getting trained in Psychiatry. How are opportunities for psychiatry in India? I am thinking of coming back
Fantastic! There is a lot of work and few ppl.. Pls come back! : )

how to get peace of mind

Thats a Billion Dollar Question which a lot of people are trying to answer..the mind is always at peace..we are the ones who make pieces out of it… so pls be satisfied with what you have and there will always be PEACE!

How to remain calm when we are angry?
Use your anger ..do not loose it!

hi this is srivathsan from chennai, do you have any tips for anger management

Why are you getting angry? Is it your nature? Or Do you use anger to control situations?..Are your expectations out of yourself and others unrealistic?… Spend time on own and find out what it is… Cognitive Behaviour Therapy will also help you….

How to remain cool at work places?
I have answered this earlier…

i am currently unemployed and due to that i drain out all my frustration on my husband . what should i do ?
Take up the next available job even if its not ideal…do some charity work and keep yourself busy..

A Type personality.Familial hypertension on daily drug dose for the past 12 years.Since its all in the mind I am able to cope with this stress by mind blocking techniques.The problem is that the BP is still high at 160 ove 100.What is the way out ?
You are not blocking but supressing..meet a professional..talk abt your problems and resolve them..

hi im 37 yr old divorcee mailing u fm dubai , i get so hyper for every little happening in a day to day life , cant cntrl my anger , wat u suggest
Get to the root of your anger and think you are angry with yourself..you need to spend a few days away from everything and find out what is the cause.. so pls consult a good professional instead of finding the cure yourself…

i am 32 yrs old working women i have 2 kids 5yrs and 2 yrs old i tried everything but i can not coup up with all the expectations of my family so got stressed everytime pls help me

Stop trying to be a perfectionist! Do what you can and leave the rest..get help for your kids and if you can’t then give your job a break for sometime..

I am a working mom and i find it very stressful to juggle between home and work. Am I ok?
Yes its off and tough to balance work and home but do your best and stop feeling guilty!

Hi, my mom is suffering from severe OCD. She has an upset stomach most of the time. Are these related?
Yes! Upset stomach is a sign of anxiety and low Vitamin B12..check that and contact her Dr. with her reports..