Mental health Q&A: Be positive to gain self-confidence

Dr Hemant Mittal, neuro-psychiatrist, answers readers’ questions on Mental Health. Get your doubts cleared and see them featured on our FAQ page every Tuesday.
This week’s answers:

1. hello doctor, I have wavering mind. Unable to decide on any tough decision on my own. How to gain confidence.
Hello Jason, the reason for the wavering mind is insecurity. The fear of losing what you have right now. This instantly creates negativity in your mind. You start focusing on the negative outcomes more than the positive outcomes.

The first rule to gain confidence is being positive. The second rule is to be prepared to solve any problem with a positive mind frame.

The most successful people in the world are those who see opportunity in a problem thrown to them. Start by being positive in solving others problems.

You might need a little mind training to move negativity away from your mind. A few relaxation exercises can help you with the same.

2. my teenage son is throwing tantrums all the time. How do I manage him.
Hello Piyush, teenage is the most difficult time in an individuals life. While most teenagers strive for independence from parents and look for a new sense of identity, parents find it difficult to let go control over them.
It is important to first identify the nature of your son’s tantrums. Tantrums are a very significant psychological symptoms. They can arise from a need for control of life or a secret presence of clinical levels of anxiety/stress or depression.

Modern teenagers are exposed to information at a much younger period than their parents. This automatically ignites desires of relationships with opposite sex, spending excessive money and time with friends and/or indulgence into internet/mobile phones.

All these three mediums are a source of restlessness and many times depression, which the teenager tries to mask from his parents. He subconsciously uses behaviors like tantrums to express his inability and restlessness.

If you are having difficulties understanding the behaviour patterns of your child, then consulting a professional counselor for his personality, emotional and behavioral analysis will give you a deeper insight.

3. I have bad dreams of my colleagues offending me now and then. Is this the subconscious mind or a premonition? Pl help
Hello Suryabindu, repeated dreams about the same topic are indicative of your fear against some particular colleagues of yours. This might be possible by their behavior patterns.

Inappropiate offending or aggressive behavior patterns are many a times perceived by the subconscious mind.

It’s important to build a bridge of effective communication, with your colleagues and your seniors. In any case of inappropiate behavior your colleagues or seniors should be informed about the same.

Also read all the laws and regulations of your work institutions so you know what falls into legal/illegal behavior patterns.

4. Hi. Is there any way to gain motivation by self hypnosis. How to practise this?
Hello jisha, yes self-hypnosis is an extremely powerful way of self-motivation. Though it requires a good teacher who can create a self-hypnotic pattern that is apt for your personality and your daily schedule.

Without a complete personality analysis its difficult for me to prescribe a regime for you. Generalized regimes can be found in self-help hypnotic books sold over the counter in any good book shop.

The most important thing to remember, that self-hypnosis doesnt start helping from day one… it takes 4-6 weeks to show 20% effects and upto 10 weeks of regular practice to show 60-80% effects.. so once started don’t stop it.

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